Tuesday, May 31, 2005 at 11:33 am
You know its been a long time since I've said I had a wonderful weekend, well apart from the weekend Marci came to visit and the weekend I talked endesley to jerry - Okay, well its not been that long, but this weekend was one of those weekends that fill my face with smiles. Friday I baby sat for the lovely Annemarie, who was out with work mates. K and I took Jed and Rebecca to the cinema to watch "Revenge of the slighgjsotijothhhhhh" it was very much a boys film and the only really good thing I can say about it was "it tied up most of the loose ends". It didn't have any ewoks in it at all and Jabba was only present for a few moments - Yes okay it was technically clever and the fight scenes with the light sabers were quite beautifully done but somewhere in the scripting the "love" we felt for the likes of Luke and Hans (ohhh especially Hans) was lost and I kinda wanted Neil Lisam (Sp - apologies) to die!!I guess the whole movie can be summed up by Jed and Rebeccas scoring the film. ME - " if ten is the best and one the worst, what score would you give it?"Rebecca - "minus 10"Jed "six hundred and seventy thousand"Boys Flick and sith happens!!!Off to surprise BevLast week whilst talking to my oldest school friends husband, Simon, we two hatched a plan to surprise Bev at a BBQ she was organising for work colleagues and friends. Saturday morning I packed our bag and hearded K out of bed - we had places to be, people to surprise and BBQ to eat! However whilst unpacking my work bag it suddenly dawned on me that I had forgotten to print off the email Simon had sent me with directions to their house. Not to be outdone by my own stupidity I located our address book from under a pile of filing and looked up directions on the "tinternet". Cool - directions for Crook Key Cottages in Cockerham were found, feeling smug the car was packed and we headed off towards the hills I know and love called Cumbria. My brother, Shaun, had previously mentioned a short cut route which K decided we should try out - the A686. It may have knocked off a couple of miles but boy was it wiggly woggly - Top speed 40mph, worst 3mph. The views were spectacular as we crested the highest point but as we finally got onto the M6, thanking our lucky stars for the Romans, we decided to go home M6/A69. Another hour on the road and we saw signs for Cockerham and Garstang - nearly there.An hour later and we were still driving round Cockerham cause the "destructions" just took us into the village not to the door - "Stupid Shannon". Being male and the driver K didn't want to stop and ask for help/instructions so we drove for a bit more. After banging on the door of the local police station and getting no answer we decided to call Simon. Bev answered the phone, I umhmmed and ahred and pretended I needed to speak to Simon about car problems (Simon is great with cars) but Bev said he was BBQing - still not ready to give up the ruse I asked Bev to get Si to call me. (She didnt - CAAAW!!!)We drove around some more and found a Crook Key Hall - hey desperate people do strange things - so we drove up and down the lane and did some trespassing, but we couldn't spot the numerous cars I knew Simon and Bev had so knew we were in the wrong place. We drove back out of Cockerham and then back into Cockerham, we drove down every road we could, expecting to site BBQ smoke, it was about this point that we began to snipe at each other, but before we could get into full flow there, in a garden digging weeds, was a silver haired angel. I told K to pull over the car and did the thing only women seem able to do. "Scuse me" said I, small yippy dogs barking at me, "could you tell me how to get to Crook Key Cottages please". The small woman looked confused and then slightly disturbed "No sorry, I've never heard of it".
"Owww" I mewled *shake of the head, eyes rolling* "I'm supposed to be a surprise for a friends BBQ and we are totally lost, I don't suppose you know them do you - Bev and Simon"? My silver haired angesl face split into a grin and she said "Yes, of course I know them, but they've moved"DOH!"Oh, not a problem I know exactly where they have gone to I used to live quite close by". Beautiful, beautiful woman!!! Directions obtained and back in the car we headed off to surprise Bev.You should have seen her face, it went through the whole gamult of emotions - confusion, shock, pleasure, she finally ending up berating us for not telling her we were coming - how we smiled and hugged!Simon is never one to be outdone and is no different when it comes to organinsing a space for a BBQ. He has his own big yellow bus with "party equipment". It actually belongs to the people he does rallying with but I like to think of it as his!Behind this mammoth tent construction is Simon's big yellow bus - it comes with several fridges filled with wine and beer. Hmmm my very own dream come true.
Wine glass filled and introductions made, and promptly forgotten, we all got down to the drinking and eating stuff.
Keefe, Trish, Stefan (I think) His girlfriend - I was never introduced to her but she was very
pretty and had great eyeshadow. Bev - with beer in hand,
Marcus, his wife and Daughter Mara (maybe) in front.
(Told you I was crap with the introduction stuff)
All in all a most fantastic afternoon, children were present but kept under control, the afternoon passed into evening and the wine flowed almost as well as the converasation.
I met two very interesting guys Steve (Future PM) and Andy ( Spin Doctor) who were setting out their manifesto for their own parliamentary party. Of course I had to get in on this - however because of the flowing wine I'm a bit uncertain about most of the policies.
I did get myself promoted to Chief Whip (lash), Simon's brother Alexander was designated Yf (Youth) representative and Trish - Simons mum - was the over 50's rep I think. Ms Rasberry - Bev had apparently offered to solve any sexual problems within the party, but not sure how exactly!
Things I can remember:
- Wales was going to be sunk - there was a very good argument for doing this but other than its full of Welsh folks and big hills I cant remember what it was.
- All sheep will be given scuba gear (just because we are sinking Wales we don't want to loose the sheep)
- Everyone will be directed to live life to the full with copious useage of drugs, alcohol or sex (preference is down to the individual - usage of all three will be heartlily encouraged).
- Cigars will be smoked by everyone.
- There will be no written words. The groups guru - Mr Savant - will be the parties representative when anyone has questions *shhh - Im actually Mr Savant*
- There was something about everyone over 55 having to join the army/forces, but Im not quite sure how that fit in with point 3.
- PM's main role was to figure out the real meaning of life - none of us were happy with Adam Duglas's "42".
The rest of the manifesto, I seem to remember two pages of small block capital writing, seems to have slipped my mind - although I believe that it was actually part of Chief Whips role to remember it - DOH!!!The rest of the night was just a blur of filled wine glasses and chat - I wanted to do the washing up, but Bev wouldn't let me, I ground my teeth, smoked a cigar and got lost going to the toilet sometime during the early hours of the morning. Sunday slipped by with causal bankholiday verve - we did various things including sitting in the sun, eating some of the best ice cream I have ever tasted, visiting several tourist spots, feeding Gulliver - Bev's horse and helping Simon take down the tent and clear out the bus. I also got to see a four day old mare - who had the longest legs, biggest eyes and cutest hairy chin! But I have to say one of the weekends highlights was Simon letting me drive his bus. We had moved the bus onto private ground to ready it for parking when Simon hopped out of his seat and said "go on then". I had a brief flash back of the magistrate saying "if you drive within this six month period, you will be prosecuted, sent to prison and forced to share a cell with a woman called Bruce who wants to call you Bubba". Before I could stop myself I was sat in the seat and going round in circles - My grin was HUGE!!! Sorry I just couldn't miss this opportunity - I wanna be a bus driver!!!!
This picture does no justice to this magnificent beast.
In the evening we filled our faces with left over BBQ Stuff - that Beverly woman can sure produce a stomach busting meal from nothing! Then we amused ourselves with a few more beers and the viewing of "Underworld" on Simons TESCO brought DVD!!! - Tee hee, sorry, but he was so embarrassed about it being from Tesco's I just had to mention it!
Not sure if you have seen this "vampirique/Weirdwoolf" offering but Simon called it "Underpants" not sure why - could be the tight fitting leather everyone wears (its a Simon thing) but I think his pet name actually summed up the film - I liked the end!!!
K and I shared a leisurely breakfast with Simon and Lynn (the lovely lodger/house sharer), Bev was at work - mad woman - its Bank Holiday Monday!!!
At about 11.15 we set off home. The journey over to Cumbria took just over 4hrs - scenic view, the journey home just over 2 and a half hrs - Hmmm know which route we will be using next time. Got in, did the washing, cooked soup and made turnip and carrot spread (yummy). K watched TV and I finished the Terry Pratchet book "Going Postal" I had "borrowed".
All in all a bally wonderful weekend and huge thanks to Simon, Bev and Lynn for their hospitality!
Thursday, May 26, 2005 at 9:04 am
Thanks to Peachy for this one...
Kinda scarey - especially the last three!
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
| Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
| Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust. |
| You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. |
| In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
What are the keys to your heartWednesday, May 25, 2005 at 1:01 pm
Well now Im done with all that question stuff I will begin with the weekend just gone. Friday was pretty much the same as every Friday - Enjoyed a bottle of wine and watched TV. Knowing we were heading off bright and early Saturday morning on Delaval Players annual walk, I brushed my teeth and headed off early to bed. The early bird gets the worm an all.. ...Saturday brought us clear skies and the promise of sunshine, even though the weather forecast said rain. I packed a bag for the forthcoming walk: flask of coffee for Keefe, bottle of water for me. I made an executive decision to pick up sandwhiches on the way there as I forgot to take the bread out last night - so much for the early bird and worm theory. Spare breathable top and spare socks, I figured it was only a 9 mile walk so wouldnt need excessive clothes - slightly worried about the fact that we had no wet weather stuff, but hey ho - it wasnt going to rain!I put tracksuit bottoms and a breathable top on the bed for Keefe after donning my own, five minutes later he came out wearing jeans and a sweatshirt - Okay his choice. We had a lengthy discussion regarding coats - he wanted to take a very heavy coat and I managed to convince him a fleece would be better. My boots
Discussions on clothes finished, we headed off to the car park to meet our earst while team leader Steven. Headed off for Barnard Castle - just south of Durham. The skies promised rain but held off - Phew. Met up with Margaret, Peter, Kath and Dave at exactly 10.26 - Nicky and Rob joined us minues later. Apparently the group has not, to date, ever got there on time. Things are looking good!
Why when your trying to a picture of a whole group do lots of people hide!!!
Steven lead the group up to Morrisons where we all did the usual stuff - purchased sandwhiches, drinks and used the facilities. We then walked through the very pituresque village, a quick but healthy pace.
Adopting Briggsy's style at this point Im just going to say we past this
We walked about four miles - lovely pace, lots of chatting and looking and "ooohhhing and Ahhhhing" and smelling of flowers and eating real live garlic plants and we eventually stopped here for lunch.
This is Rob and Nicky, Dave and Kath scoffing, with Steven contemplating the view
Once we had all filled our faces and investigated the fish we pulled on our rucksacks and walked lots more, passing the oldest swing bridge in the area, headed up some very steep steps and crossed an area covered in sheeps poo! As we returned to the cover of the trees the heavens opened, but luckily we were protected by the trees.
From here we walked another couple of miles and saw this
Highlights of the day
The pretty ravine showed above - There was a beautiful rainbow but sadly camera didnt pick it up. Blaming my camera. Must learn how to use it properly.
The scenery - I've never walked in this area and the different landscapes we saw just thrilled me. I love being out in the country.
Keefe holding my HAND - Oh my god. Totally surprised when he did. I was so shocked I actually asked him why? "Cause I can" was his reply!
Lowlights
Steven fell over and got all embarrassed, I kindly took the p out of him. Obviously made him feel much better.
Even though I lead the group for most of the day I was at times very aware of how my fitness has slipped.
In the evening 21 members of the theatre group met up for a meal, which was gorgeous. One of the oldest members Jim was telling me all about a small village he is moving to over in Cumbria. I was amazed and delighted to hear that it was Arnside - a village very familiar to me from my school days.
We talked and became charmed with each other - Im now Jims best friend and he introduced me to every one as the lovely Shannon, who knows Arnside. *glow*. Give me a OAP and I can get them eating out of my hand!!!
Sunday K and I returned to the normality of life. Food, drink and TV.
Monday, May 23, 2005 at 7:25 pm
Bugger and botherations - Okay been checking the rules and apparently this is going to be fun. So here they are with great big smoochy thanks to those who took delight in putting me through this "bit of fun", revenge is a dish best served cold... .just you wait - lol!
From Stan
1.What are your ideal vocation ?
Knowing that should be "what is your ideal" probably means I’m in the right job – teaching. But I often question if Im teaching the right age group, I love teaching adults but I have a very rose coloured ideal of teaching munchkins computers – they are after all our future or something like that.
However if I could wave a magic wand I’d probably be living somewhere warmer than here, living by the sea and dealing with dolphins and whales in one form or another!
2. What are your Fav tunes?
God the list is endless. My music taste is somewhat eclectical, I’ve nicked lots of cds from friends and habitually buy Cd’s in shops of people I’ve never heard of just to see if I might find something I like.
That said I’m a girlie when it comes to music and love singers who do the “ballard", you know the type of stuff, you can actually hear what they are singing!. So Paula Cole, ABBA, Shania Twain, Cyndi Lauper, Alison Moyet, Every thing but the girl, Lemon heads, Texas, Bangles, Queen, Kirsty MacColl, Suzanne Vega, Eddi Reader, Alanis Morissette, Eva Cassidy - The list goes on, but Im digressing and these are probably more artists than tunes so, summing up, there are three songs I listen to a lot at the moment that make me goose bumpy:
Janice Ian’s 17
Paula Cole – Im so ordinary
Joan Armatrading - Less Happy more often’
But these could and do change on a daily/hourly basis.
3. Have you ever downloaded music from tinternet?
Who?, me?Never!
Yes of course I have - who hasnt? I regularly use WinMx. I did sign up for one of those pay a one off sum and download all you want, but couldn’t figure out how to use it, so went back to WinMx licking my tinternet wounds.
4. Have/do you surf porn on the tinternet?
Have to say no to this one. Porn for me is much more hands on/interactive thing than what you generally seem to get from tinternet. Im not against it, just doesn’t “float my boat” as they say!
Phew – that wasn’t actually all that hard.
NEXT!
Hx – just knew you would do this.
5. What is the most outrageous place you've had sex?
Has to be a graveyard in Wales, but you knew that. Always thought I would remember the name of the guy whose crypt we used, but thinking back now my mind is a blank. I used to have a deep fear of graveyards but now they are just a place I strangely associate with great sex.
6. If money wasn't an option what one extravagant thing would you buy yourself
A boob reduction and perfect teeth - sorry thats two... have another one, because
I guess one of these would be nice 
Obviously I would then have to do my license and tour it through America.
7. What is your inside leg measurement?
God haven’t got a clue, need to invest in a tape measure. I tried to measure using a 6cm ruler, but kept giggling, so justifying a 28” inside leg by surmising I wear 32” leg trousers, but they are always too long, so I’m probably nearer 30”, which means I’m a confirmed short ass!
8. If you could choose who would you most wanna shag?
Like my music taste the list is numerous because I think lots of people are sexy so going to split this into three qualifying areas:
Film/TV lala land– Mr Alan Rickman, he is smart, sensitive, cruel and intelligent and has the most amazing hands.
From my past – Nick Holden, I used to have regular heavy petting sessions with this guy at school. We would thrust and pant until we could go no further but never ever went past a naked third base. I guess I would just like to see if the reality could ever live up to the expectation.
My husband of course – what else could I say!
D Man Its taken me a long time to write this, cause your question 9. "What affect did the attack have on your life" was a real bitch. But in essence the attack affected every part of my life. I left London because of it, I no longer felt safe in an environment I knew as home. I became distrustful of strangers and it eroded some of the unquestioning trust and innocence that was a huge part of my character.
For a long time I hated myself because I was stupid enough to put myself into that situation, I couldn’t talk to friends because they wouldn’t understand the guilt I felt, I resented anyone touching me and that made my relationship with K very difficult. Counseling and having gone back to face some of the pain has helped me move forward, but like all things in life it’s a slow process.
10. When you get your license back, what will happen to your bike?
I’ve already made a conscious decision to cycle into work at least three days out of the five. I’m hoping to make sure it’s four, but will need to get my sorry ass more organised so I can pick up and drop off clothes and stuff, but I’m definitely going to keep it. From something really negative it’s been a very pleasant positive. 11.What's the most fun thing you've ever done? Hmm swimming with dolphins in NZ, Bungee jumping, ski diving, Kayaked up the Grand Canyon, laughed so hard with friends I wet myself, I guess my life has been full of lots of fun.
12. What Star Wars character best sums you up? (and why?)
“One of the galaxy's top criminal underlords, Jabba the Hutt has been in charge of a major criminal empire since he was about 600 years old. He moved to Tatooine and established himself at a palace built around the ancient monastery of B'ommar monks. Its centerpiece is a huge throne room where Jabba constantly entertains and holds court from his high dais at one end of the room.
He, like me, is a hard working party guy, who loves to have friends and family over! Plus have you seen a picture of me – We could be twins!!!
13. Why, if you've been to NZ, do you keep calling it Australia?
Because I have the intellectual capacity of a duck on acid and the memory of a pregnant goldfish, having to talk and make sense is a hard process. Add that to the fact that they are very similar and I know how much it annoys you and you have your answer! – lol ;0*
14. Do you really think I'll let you get away with not Answering Questions – No but your obsessive compulsive disorder makes my own anality almost appealing?
Bloo, not sure I know how to answer your first question 15. Are you going to make the break from K and if so when?
Because I’m still not certain, I just know that things have got to change, but I’m scared and unsure of where I need to go to get changes. I’m afraid that’s the only answer I can give to that one.
16. Does question 1 count for 2 questions or 1 – took it as one.
17. How did you lose your driving licence – Ah long, long story - But cutting it short. I went out on my birthday with blond bimbo from work. Got very drunk, she said she could drive I gave her my keys, we got pulled up by Boys in Blue. They opened my door, whilst I was proclaiming I was giving her a driving lesson I fell out of the car and threw up.
Lost licence because I knowingly admitted to letting a provisional drunk driver take control of my car. Lesson learnt!
18. Should Alan Shearer be the next Newcastle Manager? Who?
19. Are you going on holiday with the 'What goes on on holiday, stays on holiday.' attitude or will we get details?
Details of course, but also have to say that I’m not proposing to do anything I shouldn’t be doing.
Briggsy said...
20. Why do you live in a trailer? - last year K and I reached yet another impasse and divorce was bandied about. I decided best option was for me to move out of house and into a trailer. We talked (are you recognizing a theme) and decided we would sell our house and move into the trailer as a transitional move.
I love it – I’ve never been very “materialistic” when it comes to bricks and mortar and most of my friends just accept that I was either going to end up in a trailer, barge or gypsy caravan.
21. Like Bloo, I want to know how you lost your licence - I refere the Lady back to Q17 – I liked that one!
22. What is D_Man talking about - The Attack? Hmmm going to cut this one very short. Four years ago I walked home from a party (drunk) and was attacked by three guys in a park about 500 yards from my home. I suffered some minor cuts, bruises and grazes and had much of my clothes removed or ripped. I was – and not sure how – lucky enough to get away.
23. Do you think being alone would be worse than being with K ?
No I really don’t mind the prospect of being on my own. I’m just unable to face the pain I will cause him if we do split up.
24. Your best day ?
Ever – hmmm Wedding day was pretty special, but then the day I passed my driving test was also very special to me – gave me a freedom I had never know.
But my 21st birthday was probably one of the highlights to date. It was just one of those perfect hedonistic days, I was surrounded by friends and family, we had a beautiful day on the beach drinking champagne and eating fruit, burying each other in the sand and playing dumb beach games. In the evening with sunburnt noses and shoulders we ate, bowled, got drunk(er) and talked. Yeah that has to be one of my best days. But I also refer you D-Mans question “what is the most fun thing you have ever done” all of those days were pretty special too.
So thats it, done!
It has actaully been fun. Shucks D_man, I should never have doubted you!
Friday, May 20, 2005 at 11:42 am
Thanks to a rather drunken conversation this morning I am apparently "it".Bugger and botheration.This link to D-mans site explains it better than I could hope to - you will need to scroll down to the "blame Golf Widow Again" part. In a nutshell "You are allowed to ask me up to four questions by posting them in the comments to this entry. You may ask anything. Nothing is off-limits as such."Im hoping I dont have enough visitors to this site to do it!
at 1:40 am
But listening to this - its 1.27 and loosing myself in sadness
I guess he's working late againI don't need to wonder where he isBut I do!He oughta know that by now.I know his work takes a lot of himThere's not much left for him to giveBut I need more!He oughta know that by now.It's not like he's gotta read my mind to know what I'm feelin' after all this time .
It's just too hard to hold on to what's never aroundHe oughta know that by now!He used to promise soon things would changeIt's been years and it's still the sameAnd that hurts.He oughta know that by now!I've grown so used to being aloneCouldn't be much worse if I were goneAnd in a way I am.He oughta know that by now!It's not like he's gotta read my mind to know what I'm feelin' after all this time.It's just too hard to hold on to what is never aroundHe oughta know that by now!Heart ache and coffee at midnight motelsLeaving him was hard as hellBut I did.And he oughta know that by now.I didn't try to explainNo goodbye underneath my ringThat was all I left.And he oughta know that by now. That was all I lefthe oughta know that by now!
Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Thanks to Marci for this one.
For those of you who like to plan ahead this has to be THE ULTIMATE Christmas stocking filler.
Which of us could resist the Lambrini flavoured ones!
Go on, show her how much you care!!!!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Okay, now Im just bursting with excitement. Hx has totally wound me up with pictures of our holiday and now Ive just got another present from Papa Sucre and Im like a three year old on red bull and six sherbet dips!!!
Not only can you change him from Good Angel to Evil Angel
but he comes with several outfits
Im just going to be so busy for the next couple of hours.
Thanks Papa S - I love him!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 9:50 pm
Okay I seem to be chasing my blog so if your ready, take a deep breath and here we go.
Friday Night
Started off fairly healthy, went on a walk with Annemarie along the beach, about 3 miles, beautiful skies, fantastic sea but very windy, obviously forgot to take my camera - DOH!
K got in about 7.30 and we stumbled through the usual how was your day conversation. Luckily for the TV we didn't have to suffer this process for too long. Whilst drowning out the ripped top glory of Bruce Willis in "Die hard" I opened a bottle of wine. "Die Hard " was swiftly followed by "The Fellowship of the ring" and to drown out K's soft snores I opened up a second bottle.
As I sat watching a film I have seen twice, nay three times, whilst K snored happily for the third time through the ending I was hit by an urge to talk.
I looked at the clock, once, twice, got it in focus and there staring at me was the big hand on 6 and the little hand on 1 (1.30am Hx). Knowing that all my friends would politely to tell me to go play on a busy road if I called them at this time I did what any sensible minded person would do - I called Jerry in Australia.
He wasn't in, but his work colleague was and happily took a message from a drunken and flirty English woman. I fell asleep. Jerry called back, not quite sure at what time, but we talked and talked and talked.
And now I can firmly say I have another BOYfriend. Not a "boy friend" you kiss but a boy friend you talk to. "Huh?", "How did you get here?" I hear you ask.
Well there are a few things I will happily do with my girlfriends, pluck eyebrows, even assist with bikini waxes but mostly I feel able to talk to them and, so not to cut off the flow of important chatter, to pee when on the phone.
Jerry is now ficially firmly ensconced into the girlfriend/boyfriend league of friends.
Somewhere around 5am - my time - I released him to complete his Saturday in the way he felt necessary - cleaning!! - and promptly fell into an oblivion of sleep.
Saturday
I spent most of the day in bed, recovering from late night conversations and too much alcohol. I read lots and listened to K watching re-runs of "Steptoe and son". I cooked in the evening and we plunged ourselves once more into the goggle box.
Sunday
I woke refreshed and ready to solve my broadband problem. I wired in - all by meself - three new phone connections, one for our spare phone, one for the sky TV watsit thingy and one for broadband. K did the ironing and offered the occasional helping hand.
4pm I had broadband - Yeahaw!
4.02 I realised that my wireless keyboard had died and no matter how much I gnawed at my foot and cursed the techno gods it wasn't going to spring back into life - BUGGER! I past the rest of the afternoon attempting to update the puter as much as could with just a mouse.
Before I knew it 9pm had turned up and it was my turn to dominate the remote control as "House" started, I opened a bottle of wine and settled my fat arse on the sofa. Somewhere between "House" and "Nip/Tuck" I discovered that the bottle of wine I had been drinking had mysteriously evaporated - Dontcha just hate it when that happens - I must look into purchasing one of those bottle stop thingies, I believe they help eliminate that problem.
Reminded of my Friday night splurge and the need to cut down (*snort* sorry drink just spurted from my nose) I decided to be sensible and cracked open one of the beers K had left in the cupboard.
Five beers later and nothing on TV I pondered my inability to follow my own drinking rule "Beer before wine is fine, wine before beer is queer". When I'm drunk it always changes to "wine after beer is queer, beer before wine is fine!" Which means.... erm... bugger it, just drink! Not wanting to anger the hangover gods I drank a healthy lt of water, brushed my teeth and ate a banana!
Monday
Hangover gods were obviously appeased by my offering as I had only a "slight head" but nothing a good ole bike ride couldn't put right. Keefe had helpfully taken all my clothes (unsightly uniform) into work and the ride was just "Gaawjus" as Hx would say.
The rest of the day was spent fulla busy. I didn't need to talk to my mawanker at all. I've heard that communication helps but am becoming a firm believer in the "non communication route".
I finished work at a fantastic 4pm and returned home to my lovely trailer to cook the best broccoli and bean soup I've ever tasted. K came in and we grunted politely at each other then I fitted my newly borrowed keyboard and "hooray" I was once more back in the puter world, I may have said this before but "I love my puter!"
Tuesday
Spent this morning in a meeting about funding pretending I knew what I was talking about. *shushhhh* they don't know *wink, wink*.
Then left work at 3 - I love flexi hours - and spent the afternoon talking to a good friend, Papa S, on MSN. We talked recipes and I glowed in the loving light of my dharling puter and good chatter.
Then I discovered mail dropped off by my mummy and found this in a little white envelope
Hx *Huge sloppy kiss*. He is truly small, soft and perfectly formed and will be loved and loved and I'm going to stick him in my pocket and never, ever loose him.
"Fank you very much" ;0) and sorry I squeeked - just plain excited!
K came in and we talked - Yeah, we talked, stuff about work, and holidays, and stuff. It was like having a proper conversation, and I'm sat here with a ginger ale blown away!!!.
So that's me, all waffled out and up to date.
All I can say is YEEHAW I got my puter back.
Friday, May 13, 2005 at 10:28 am
Well what an amazing weekend/week.
Friday fun, Friday
Two major things happened last Friday - Firstly I booked my tickets to Almeria - is that right Hx - in Spain. All I know is its in the south and Im sooo giggly excited its unbelievable!The second fun thing was Marci coming to visit - all the way from London - and it was wonderful. We talked, I bemoaned and she, bless her little cotton socks - the blue ones - listened and listened and listened! Friday night I cooked lots and we drank more. The evening was pleasantly female full of chat and laughter, at 10.30ish I suggested we walk off dinner, Marci and I donned our coats - K said it was too cold - and we headed out towards the light house.Is it a starAs we approached the sea we were present to witness the creation of a new star. Both of us stood awe struck as the bright, bright star shone down upon the sea, so bright it cast a light of magical qualities upon the water. For minutes we stood contemplating this beautiful moment - our faces bathed in the majesty of nature.Then our star started moving and was accompanied by a little red flickering to its side - feeling like idiots we realised we had been marveling at an incoming airplane!Saturday the weather was beautiful in the morning but by 11.30 the clouds surrounded us and the rain began. In a desperate effort to find entertainment we hit the cinema, 2 odd hrs of entertainment was found in the form of the "Interpreter" obviously the natural accompaniment of icecream and revells helped the film immensely. "Hasnt Sean come on somewhat from Shanghi flop"A night on the townSaturday evening Marci and I went out and played with Annmarie. Annemarrie stayed sober whilst Marci and I plowed our way through a very nice Italian meal and several bottles of wine. We discussed life, love and sex lines and attempted to save the world from the injustices of finishing time and men with chewing gum. On our way home we pondered the delights of a mad geordie girl who saw fit to run into the middle of the road and lay down. "WHY?" Before Annemarie could run her over she was quickly escorted off by the boys in blue - hurrah for the BiB' - unless of course its me they are picking up and putting in the back of their nasty van - different story!!!!Not wanting to end the evening of good conversation and soul searching Annemarie drove us to the Lighthouse and we went and watched the drug dealers and sexual active play out their Saturday evenings. For me the rest of the evening was pretty much a warm fluffy blurr but I have to say thank you to Annemarie for getting us home safely and thank you to Marci for helping me deal with my sofa bed issues - This may become a new guest game!!!Points of interest garnered from Marci - I do snipe at K and he snipes at me, generally for no apparent reason. She has advised me to try and reword my "requests". For example instead of jumping straight in, tutting, and screaming "open the frigging window you moron from hell" I'm now using "K there is a lot of smoke in here at the moment, would you mind opening the window" and my favourite "if you don't want to use a plate fine, but here is the hoover!" Not used that one yet because he has actually not had a sandwich without a plate *gasp*.She also told me - rather too sensibly - that no one but me could decide whether I stay or go, "Why not" screeched the mini me that doesnt want to deal with the pain lay upon the floor legs and arms flailing in temper tantrums and tears "your my friend, you do it". "Because its not up to anyone else, its going to hurt you and K and you have to decide if what you have is enough and if it isn't its your decision to get out." No mollycoddling and "it will be okay" just plain truth - the same truth I hear from all my friends, but from Marci who has just gone through such a horrid illness and still manages to ooze self awareness and a certain sense of serenity the truth seemed real - God I hate her - not really!
Sunday morning, with a head that didn't know if it wanted a hangover or not, I made fruit smoothies for me and Marci and then we headed back out for another walk. Fresh air ideal for eliminating potential hangover heads!
We saw some strange birds, that made weird little noises and I took Marci up to my favourite spot.
We stood contemplating nature at its best but sadly the cold and wind forced us home.
We were actually very lucky, just as we approached the trailer the heavens opened and hailstones speew-ed forth. God I love the sound of hailstones on the trailer roof - its like being tickled all over!
Mid afternoon Marci, bags packed climbed into her little car, armed with salmon sandwiches and fruit she headed off to Manchester.
A bloody brilliant visit and I felt a sadness comparable to watching the last programme of Buffy fill my pitiful little heart. K and I spent much of the afternoon doing our own thing - he listening to music and me reading. But it wasn't unpleasant!
Rosie entertained me by playing with a rabbit, I'm sure she was trying to convince it to come into the trailer for supper. Just a bit worried about whether she would have dined with it or on it.
The Working week and holidays
Monday merged rather efficiently into sunday - isnt it clever how that happens and work busied me. Now you may remember me talking about my mawanker some time back complaining that he wouldn't let me do my usual mail out to learners. Well because he hasn't pulled his finger out the "glossy brochure" that was supposed to go out hasn't even been drafted and I've been given the go ahead to do my mail shot - Yeee HAW!
Tuesday toddled in and one of my favourite learners called in just to say hello. I love this job.
Wednesday wiggled forth and a niggling thought began to pound upon my conscious. Marci had suggested we - K and I - join her in visiting a mutual friend Graeme F in Belfast for the weekend following the bank holiday weekend. So up to my eyeballs in work I decided to do what all of us do and surf the net, looking for tickets.
For us to travel on Friday and return on Sunday would cost a HUGEMONGEOUS £120 odd pennies but if we could return Monday morning it would only mean £56 pennies - now to me this made sense, but K in the past has been adamant that he cant take time off work. He is contracted to work through term time and only take holidays through the school holiday periods, so I left it.
But the thought that it was only "one morning, not a week" kept niggling me and I kept returning back to stare at the easy jet screen searching for inspiration. I talked to Marci, then taking the bull by the horns I phoned K. I explained the situation and in true style he said he wouldn't be able to take the time off.
But I pushed "its only one morning - you'll be back to lock up, cant you just ask" remembering Marcie's "worms of wisdom" I added "look just ask for me, if they say no we can book the tickets for Sunday, but you wont know till you ask". So he went off to ask, but couldn't find anyone. So all fired up he phoned me back and told me to book the tickets "what could they do - fire me".Thursday toddled in and brought forth not only tickets to Spain but tickets to Ireland. I cant believe it not only am I off to Spain at the end of June, I'm also off to Ireland. This holiday malarky is just like busses - you don't see one for years then suddenly wham bam two come along. How excited is me?So today - Friday the 13th loomed this morning and thanks to Hx I remebered to salt my door step and cat flap and cycled into work. The morning was beautiful and as we all know, and Jonathan Cainer reiterated, al this fear stuff is down to Paraskevidekatriaphobia!
Twelve is traditionally a number of 'completion'. The tribes of Israel, apostles, numbers on the clock face, signs of the zodiac. That's partly why thirteen - one beyond perfection - is associated with disruption. It is also because there are twelve months in a modern 'male' solar year and thirteen in a natural 'female' lunar year. Add this to the belief that Eve tempted Adam with the apple on a Friday and it looks as if Paraskevidekatriaphobia (fear of Friday 13th) is based almost entirely on sexism!
So it was with no great surprise that I got honked at three times by men in white vans and the guy who has been cycling past me for the last two months every morning this morning smiled.
So that's my week, no closer to knowing what I'm doing, but happy because of it.
How was yours?
Monday, May 09, 2005 at 8:27 am
Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:
Name: Golden WomanSecret Identity: Shannon BrowningSpecial Power: Mystical EarsTransportation: Alien ScooterWeapon: Dimensional CannonCostume: Golden Snow SuitSidekick: Jumpin' JimNemesis: Harold the SneakyTragic Flaw: Addicted to squashFavorite Food: MelonThis is all so TRUE!Who are you?
Friday, May 06, 2005 at 9:29 am
Please don't shout - I know all I'm probably doing is banging a nail into my left foot and running round in circles but...K turned up last night with roses - red and yellow (manipulative git) and eyes full of sadness. He apologised, said he had been wrong, said he knew he wasn't trying, said I was anal and a nag - but cant deny that, said he would try harder, said he loved me...and I......I said ok.This morning though I've got this song going round my head:Shut up and drive
You don't know what you're talking about
He's not the one
You ought to know that by now
You've got one of those hearts
That keeps changing your mind
Your heart has a way of making you stay
So shut up and drive .
Don't look in the mirror
He might have that look in his eyes
The one that's so strong
It strangles your will to survive
He's mastered the art
Of looking sincere
His eyes have a way of making you stay
Don't look in the mirror.
I'm the voice you never listen to
And I had to break your heart to make you see
That he's the one who will be missing you
And you'll only miss the man
That you wanted him to be
Turn the radio on
To drown out the sound of goodbye
Blink back the tears
Show me you've still got your pride
Just get yourself lost
In a sad country song
Those guys that they play
Know just what to say
Turn the radio on.
I'm the voice you never listen to
And I had to break your heart to make you see T
hat he's the one who will be missing you
And you'll only miss the man
That you wanted him to be
Shut up and drive
Don't look in the mirror
Turn the radio on
Get out of here
Shut up and drive
Shut up and drive
Shut up and drive
My main problem is I don't get my license back till July!!!
Thursday, May 05, 2005 at 7:42 am
I've spent a lot of time musing over when I was going to have the conversation or as I like to refer to it start along the relationship road and someone, mention no names, very recently said to me it will just happen. Only I just didn't expect it to happen last night in the way that it did.
Firstly I need to set the scene. Did I hear you yawn?
A couple of weeks ago Hx said she was going on holliers in Spain and I thought it would be lovely to join her, so I raised the question of Holidays with K. Obviously he didn't know what holidays he could take but did say he could only take time off in school holidays. I kinda questioned whether he would be bothered if I went on my own. He shrugged and said "suppose not". To which I in my infinite womanly way read as "Nope, go hunney, have fun".
So last night I queried again about holidays, I had decided that if he had less time off than me I would definitely book the tickets. He still hadn't bothered to find out what holiday entitlement he had, so I raised the question again - this time I got the response "I suppose so, if you can afford it".
Happy in my own little world of holiday plans I yabbered on about the soup I had done for our tea, explaining "we would have to stop off on our way to the Valley Players AGM to pick up some bread but at least we could have something quick when we got back".
"huh" he said.
"The AGM - its tonight" said I.
"oh f**k that's all I need, well I suppose we had better get going then" said he.
So off we set. Both of us seated in the car, seat belts belted and Keefe doing his myopic reversing. I looked over my shoulder and saw a car approaching from the left - fast!.
"Stop" I yelled. The car continued to reverse "K watch it". The car continued its inexplicable journey backwards. The other car beginning to swerve. "K WATCH IT- THERE IS A CAR" the breaks finally compressed and we stopped. The other car driver looked at us as if we were obviously mad reversy people!!!
"Didn't you see it?" I asked "Didn't you hear me say stop?"
Snarling "I saw it in the rear view mirror, I was stopping".
"Yeah but I saw it approaching, you just didn't listen to me" I whined.
"I couldn't see it cause you were in the way"
"You said you saw it"
"Not till it was in the rear view mirror."
"Well why didn't you stop when I said stop?"
"We didn't f**king hit it!"
I fumed silently and looked out the window, we had an AGM to get to and so far we had only traveled about 200 yards. I couldn't stop my mouth as it muttered "I was just saying I saw it and said stop, you just don't listen to me"
"OOOOhhhh and your always right" mutter mutter mutter he went.
As we approached the junction to leave the holiday park I said "look I saw it, I said stop"
"Oh shut up you stupid b**ch".
I exploded with a cold anger and replied, with a non too pithy or intelligent, "No YOU shut up you barstuard".
The door was flung open and I flung myself from the car slamming NiKolas Paul Viscount Peabody's door like I had never slammed it before. I stormed towards the trailer muttering under my breath about AGM's, Men and the world "flucking" itself.
K was in the living room as I entered the trailer and he snarled at me "So what the F**k is up with you now".
"Whats up with me - is that I'm not prepared to have you speak to me like that any more, I wont be called a bitch or be told to shut up".
The way I talk to you, your having a f**king laugh! What about the way you talk to me? I've tried to do everything you ask me and every time I do something I'm just F**king criticised.
"Well" I taunted, voice snide, "Perhaps if you did things properly I wouldn't have anything to criticise".
"Oh for F**ks sake what the F**k have I done wrong this F**king time.
"I'm not even going to get into the K" I almost screamed at him "It would take too F**king long and you wouldn't listen anyway". Off I stormed into the smallest bedroom in the trailer and stood clenching my fists, trying to calm down.
Two deep breaths later and before I could stop myself I was back in the hall and in a deathly calm voice I heard myself saying "K if that's really how you feel then we've got nothing else to say - perhaps we should talk about Divorce" (The D Word - for Hx)
"Oh now, it comes" he gloated at me, hands gyrating in some sort of suedo black hip hopster way. "I f**king knew it", I've waited for two weeks for this. You f**king selfish bitch. I've done every thing you have ever asked (my eye brow almost hit the roof) I've given up everything to be with you, I moved from London, I gave up our house and I moved into this f**king shit hole and "I f**king knew it, I just knew this was going to all go f**king pear shaped. Ever since you f**king mentioned that stupid f**king holiday two weeks ago.
"Holiday" I fumed back at him. "This has got nothing to do with the holiday and its not just been a few weeks. This has been going on for months, the reason I wanted to go on the holiday was to get the f**k away from you".
What the f**k is it you want. F**king romance and f**king flowers all the time?
Our eyes locked, almost panting in anger I replied "No K, not all the time, just some of the time would have been nice". He turned and stormed back into the Living room and I stormed into the bedroom searching for something to do.
Ironing! - ironing calms me down, so I did what I do best when I'm upset - I pulled out the ironing board and went in search of something to iron. Calm ... calm.... calm....
7 sweatshirts, 8 t-shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of my work trousers and a couple of tops and I was a calm, centered soul - didn't I already know this was going to come one day!
I walked out into the living room and K was doing what he does best - watching TV and feeding his face. I put some of my homemade soup into a bowl and put it into the microwave - seeking calm I left the living room and went off to find something else to occupy my mind.
Filing - So I filed all our old correspondence - shredding the necessary bits and pieces - the small world of destruction calming me. The mircrowave pinged and I returned to the living room to see K sprawled on the sofa watching some bizarre horror flick where a woman was being murdered, cigarette in his hand and the FUCKING WINDOW CLOSED!!!!!
One of the things I've asked K to do on a regular basis - because I gave up smoking two years ago - is open the window when he is having a cigarette, I'm sure he only did it to annoy me - I could be jumping to conclusions - but doors were slammed and I could have "tutted" my way to a gold medal.
I returned to the little bed room and continued to tidy up. I contemplated sleeping in there but then thought "no why should I be uncomfortable" (not that the bed is in the least bit uncomfortable, its actually quite snuggly) and went through to our bedroom where I leisurely prepared myself for bed - Shower, moisturised, eyebrow pluck et al, I climbed between clean sheets and read myself into noddy head land.
About 11.30 I felt the second duvet (I always sleep with two duvets on my bed) being pulled off the bed. I didn't move. The cold swept in and I lay contemplating a night with only one duvet, Rosie came and joined me and I pulled her under the covers not just for warmth but for a much needed cuddle. She purred in my ear and soothed the welling tears.
At 12.30 I crept (crept in my own home) into the spare bedroom and sneaked the spare duvet back into the bedroom - warm again I crawled under the covers and hibernated from the hurt.
This morning I lay from 5.40am listening to K shuffling round the trailer; coughing his way through his much required coffee and morning cigarettes. K left at 6.38 - two minutes before my alarm was due to bid me into the world of work.
So when all is said and done I guess I've started down that strange road I saw last week. I'm still not sure, even with D_mans advice about Ewoks, about this journey - to tell you the truth I'm bloody scared!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005 at 10:02 am
Now you might be forgiven for wondering "huh" "how" and some of you may even be going down the "why" track. But for Christmas I purchased for K two tickets to go and see this "live" concert. The original band were playing and the "Sweet sensations" and the "Stamps" were accompanying, along with all the other Elvis cronies.Now I used to be a huge EP fan in my youth but as time passed my music tastes changed and his "albulbums" were consigned to the charity shop along with the much kissed EP mirror that used to hang above my bed. Then, much to my families amusement, I married a stalwart Elvis fan. K has probably got most of his albums either on vinyl or tape and has duplicates in CD/DVD format of much of the mans work. He can name band members and dates songs were published, he can also name that tune in one - not only supplying the title of the song but, if required, which edition was actually released. This present then was a great one for him and a night out for me.We set off towards Newcastle Arena in silence. We misplaced the arena for a while but eventually got onto the right road and found a place to park, we approached the arena in almost total silence, we found our seats - Slap bang in the middle right near the front - Great seats! K went for beer and I sat and people watched. There was a huge variety of folks surrounding us. Folks ranging from 6 to 90, People dressed up as the man himself, some good some very nasty (I'm saying nothing but if your 5.6 and over 2o stone you really shouldn't wear white lycra - not matter what) and others just sporting thier own Elvis t.shirts/Shirts/wigs!!!
K returned with beer and we sat in silence staring at the stage. I spilt my beer down the back of a guy sat in front of us and spent 10 minutes mortified apologising and attempting to smear the beer further down his shirt - a big thanks to the lady with tissues and sorry to beer back guy!Then the lights dimmed and the show began. Elvis's signature tour song "2001 Odyssey" music filled the stadium and the crowed howled in adoration. K was suddenly animated and cheering - I have to say it was "FANTASTIC". There were three main screens - the middle screen played old footage and the two side screens flipped between close ups of the band members and old footage and pics of the man himself. I was mesmerised; there were a couple of sections that he talked to the audience and for moments you forgot he was actually dead.The only sad moment was as the band struck up "You've lost that loving feeling" K turned to me and said "They're playing our tune". Needless to say the darkness hid the tears and I was glad to return back to the trailer in silence.
at 9:29 am
Between Hx and myself we can happily say... been there!
Create your own Map
still got a fair bit to see though!!!
© Shannon
2005 // Powered for Blogger
