Thursday, January 26, 2006 at 10:21 am
First Weeeeheeeee!Today is the birthday of Hooch, Hx, Hels, H! She wont thank me for saying how old she is, so lets say she is older than
Lisa Marie
But younger than LL J Cool.
Whatever her age, I'm wishing her a bally fabtastic day.
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The Second Weeeeheeeee!Yesterday I went to see Alison, my Midwife, armed with facts figures and the belief that I was entitled to a home birth, no mater her preferences. She agreed, without any fight, argument or real discussion....
So that's it. TripleB, unless there are complications (And there are still lots of reason why I wont be allowed a home birth - but not thinking about these yet, cause Im doing great as is TripleB), will be born at home!
God I'm so excited!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Well last night I attended by first
NTC Class, I made the executive decision to pay for antenatal classes rather than relying on the NHS version and I think I've made the right choice. The group takes place above a lovely shop called Paper Treasures, which is full of yummies of varying types and will probably cost me a fortune every time I go in there.
Janine, the woman who runs the class, greeted each couple with a huge smile and a compelling welcome. K had his dress rehearsal so I turned up as the first eager bear with my mama in tow.
Janine made us feel very welcome and like all preg mums I goldilocks the chairs.
"This one was too hard, this one was too soft, ahhh this one is just right".
We were handed some reading material, which mama commandeered and I was left twiddling my thumbs smiling inanely at each new couple as they too did the goldilocks thing.
The group consisted of five couples, including me n mum, so a nice compact group. Once settled Janine divided us into two groups and we discussed the type of things we wanted to cover, I kind of joked “EVERYTHING” and once the lists were completed my initial smart Alec comment was fairly accurate.
Mama and I were banded together with two other couples, Annette and Tom a Swedish couple, who had me in stitches most of the time - bugger our prim English sentiments Annette wanted to know if anyone else was really pee'd off, excuse the pun, with leakage problems? And Sam and James, he thinks she nags and she thinks he doesn’t listen to her or understand what she is going through - sound familiar!!!!
The other two couples in the other group seemed fairly nice, a pharmacist (Jo) and her Dr husband (Ramesh) and a couple who arrived late so I didn’t get their names. To be honest, I seemed to be the most informed - all that Internet reading - and I’m also the furthest on. I’m not sure I’m going to learn anything more than I’ve already found out but if I can get K to attend I’m hoping that he will pick up a few bits an pieces on supporting me during the birth, other than saying “push and pant”, its got to be easier than trying to get him to read the bally books, and will also hopefully let him see that I’m not the only anal, criticising momma to be!
Tomorrow, Wednesday, I do battle with Alison, the MW. I’m going in armed with facts, figures and the reasoning that “Yes I may be controlling, but it’s MY birth”, if she can't support me I will ask for another MW.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Kinda a lot has been going on, but nothing really worthy of its own blog, except of course the receipt of a parcel from NZ, so I’m going to sum it up in one weekly blog. Yes I know its only Wednesday but hey, I’m at work, I’m bored and I have half an hour to kill - Fingers do your stuff!!!
A surpresent from Abroad
Milky's mum, Queen B , sent me a wee parcel all the way from NZ, it was a total surprise and I love surprises, so squealed for all of ten mins and danced around my mammas kitchen waving my parcel and doing the "I got a parcel" dance! Upon opening said parcel I squealed some more - a portable baby changing mat (which will be tres useful when I’m out and about) a Plunket baby booklet full of useful information and two Mighty Perky Mama bars - which I’m told are NZ delicacy and I’m saving for my next downward mood swing, then I will scoff both of them and wallow in the sugar rush. (pics will come when I can get my camera up and running again)
A visit to the Hospital
I’m particularly a feared of hospitals, no thats not right, I’m particularly a feared of medical interventions. My neurosis stems from a rather horrible hospital experience I had in London five or six years ago, but for once Im not going to bore you with details. Since the said experience I actually worked in a hospital for a year and had no problems with working there but when I have to go in as a patient, succumbing to medical doctoring I fear that some mad man in a white coat will swoop down on me and force me to undergo several nasty, painful procedures for no apparent reason and with even less explanation.
I therefore, faced with entering a hospital for any form of medical reason, wind myself up (unbelievable though this may seem) until I’m a gibbering wreck and panic attacks abound.
Consequently I’ve been hoping to be able to have a home birth, but my midwife, who is generally a lovely supportive woman, has been really pressurising me to go to the hospital. She decided that I would feel much better if I saw the ward and familiarised myself with the surroundings. So K and I went to meet her. I, of course, immediately felt the panic descending but attempted to look at the visit as preparation.
Within the 30 mins we were there she slowly chipped away at my confidence and encouraged K to say how concerned and worried he was regarding the home birth option, how in her experience home births were not a good idea, asking me how I would feel if something went wrong and we couldnt get to the hospital in time - I cried, more in frustration that she didn’t appear to understand my fear, and was left feeling like a total control freak who didn’t give a damn about the baby growing inside of me - Not a good feeling!!!
I’ve got to meet with her next week to discuss my options, but I’m still feeling that I’m better off relaxed and at home (five min drive from the hospital) than uptight, freaking out and worrying that I’m not going to be given the opportunity to have the natural birth I want.
Back Pain
I hate to harp on about being pregnant *cough, splutter* because I know I’ve had a relatively pain free easy pregnancy to date, but this week TripleB "dropped", which means he has moved into the head down position, this simple and "natural" change has meant that for the first time in my pregnancy I’m dealing with back ache - and my god it is intense, constant, all the time pain!
I’m figuring its the bodies way of saying, its gonna get worse so we will introduce you to this pain thing bit by bit. Because of the new change of position I’ve developed the "pregnancy waddle", think penguin and you've pretty much got it - Tres attractive!
People insist on telling me I’m "blooming" though, which I’m not sure whether to believe, I’m not sure if greasy hair and spots are quite the image of blooming I was looking for.
Relationship angst
All fairly quiet on the relationship front. K and I still play the swings and roundabouts game, some times we are up, sometimes we are down, sometimes we just go round and round in circles but I’m getting more and more to the stage where I just Vicky Pollard it and say "Do I look bovvered?”
Right now I’m dealing with radical body changes, increased hormone swings and attempting to get through a day at work. I’ve just nothing left to deal with "us" at the moment, especially when half of us doesn’t seem to want to put in any more effort than he really needs too to get through the day.
That said, he is working bally long days and then going onto rehearsals afterwards so is doubly tired and probably has as little energy for us as I do - all I can say is "we will see".
Life with Ma and Pa is working out remarkably well. We've all found our own space and seem to be working hard to adapt to each other’s idiosyncrasies. The hardest thing was working out the bathroom rota but once we had it cracked who went in when to get to work for the right time things seems to have sorted themselves out.
I’m loving having a bath (only have a shower in the caravan) and mum despite all my fears is actually easy to live with. We both moan about the men in our lives and then read to block it all out!
Work
No resolution, no further information, no change.....
Oh and my PC at works hard drive has died, lucky I backed up last Thursday!!!
Wow a total summation of my life to date. I’m left feeling fairly positive, slightly worried and a little excited. Whatever you’re planning, doing or recovering from do it with enthusiasm and remember no matter how dark the tunnel, or how long the road a Llama is always bigger than a frog!
Thursday, January 12, 2006 at 2:31 pm
ARGHHHHHHH!!
Just had a conversation with K about a job. He is looking for something full time instead of the two part time jobs he's is currently doing. I found a caretakers job on line, but its live in, which I know he doesn’t really want to do and the money isn’t great, but its something he has considered looking at, when I said "you need to decide what you want to do..." he got aggressive (his tone anyway) and said I was pressurising him, I got defensive (my tone) "AM NOT" and I hung up on him.
Now I wanna lie on the floor and kick and stamp my feet!!!!
at 2:15 pm
Not sure if its the surge of hormones or the fact that most nights I spend at least an hour contemplating bringing a life into this world, but on Tuesday the Mawanker demanded my notes and hand outs from the courses I have designed over the last three years at work.
His attitude and my attitude did a quick six rounds, the aggression levels high and I could hear Argumentative me whispering, "I could have had him Harry". Instead of actually ripping his head from his shoulders and urinating down his neck I flounced off with nothing more intelligent than a "interesting" comment. No fear about my verbal prowess then!
Anyway after sitting and contemplating the whole fiasco I gradually calmed down and realised that the Mawanker had every right to ask for my notes and if he had actually asked me in a different way I’m pretty sure that I would have bent over backwards to comply. So I printed out copies of everything and vowed that I would "address the issue" on Wednesday morning.
Had a real s**t night Tuesday night (sorry if I kept you awake Hx) spent most of it going through the thousand permutations of the conversation I was going to have "smeagol, myself and I).
I strode like some Amazonian sleep deprived witch into the office and handed over notes, schemes and handouts for all my courses. I apologised for my reaction to his request and then went on to tell him exactly how aggressive, bullish and non supportive I have found him over the last 6-8 months. I couldn’t shut up my mouth, it splurged out and after 10 mins he sat before me a deflated soul, apologising for making me feel this way!
It was quite a grown up conversation and I certainly feel better for getting it out into the open. I’m pretty certain it wont change a single thing and there was no one there to back me up, but at least I said it in a grow'd up, professional manner rather than the squalling brat I had been on Tuesday night.
Yeah - for the grow'd ups!!!
Monday, January 09, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Rosie just cracks me up at times! I took these pics before moving out of the trailer, if you close your eyes and squint she really does look like she is playing air guitar.
at 8:06 am
As I've mentioned in my last entry we have had to move off site and whilst living with my parents is taking some adjusting its been, so far, relatively pain free, except that is that they don’t have SKY TV. Which means that most of the programs I watch - CSI, Nip Tuck, Boston Legal and House all have to be recorded.
Not a problem thinks I - I’m a modern woman and can set the DVD to record, or at least ask K to do it (I believe in empowering him). So before we left we programmed in all our fave shows, which considering I don’t consider myself to be a TV Pleber actually turned out to be quite a lot!!!
Anyway, we've been thinking that we had all these yummy shows to watch over the weekend but how we laughed when we saw naught but an empty disc.
Bugger!
The barstuards who run the site haven’t been switching off the power at night time, which means there is nothing, no House, no CSI, no Nip tuck...
I wail, I sway in anguish, I stomp my feet and pout!!!!
When we assaulted the the admin staff yesterday, Sunday, with demands about our security alarm being affected - thinking this was a sneaky way of saying they couldn’t turn off the power because of that - we were informed that it had a back up power dowatsit and isn’t affected.
Bugger and bums
We are supposed to be recording Stargate for my brother, who is currently out in the Gulf, whatcha reckon think we could guilt trip them with that?
BUGGER, BUMS and … VF!!
Friday, January 06, 2006 at 3:50 pm
These last couple of days have been a bit hectic on the baby front. I went for a scan on Wednesday, cause my last scan showed that my placenta was low and could cause problems when birthing (too much information?!?!) anyway the scan showed that all was hunky dory, the placenta is where is should be an TripleB is looking good. Obviously lying with my ass up in the air and on my left side worked!!!
Here's a couple of pics of the wee fella!!!
At 4lb 2oz we are looking at an approximate birth weight of 8-9lbs - ain't technology a wonderful thing!
Thursday I had to go for a fasting blood sugar test cause my last bloods showed my sugar levels were "unacceptably high", which could mean that I had
gestational diabeties, which isn’t great for me or TripleB.
So at 9am I was attacked by a very hearty and friendly nurse with a huge needle, she seemed to extract a pint of blood and then gave me a very sweet orange tasting drink to "get down", whilst handing it over she said "it doesn’t taste very nice, so take as much time as you like". Having not eaten or drunk anything but water since 9pm I took a tentative sip and then gulped like a thirsty man.... I actually quite liked it!!!
I then sat for what seemed like an endless 2hrs (thank god for MP3's and books) until another nurse came in and stole more of my blood. The tests then went of to the blokes in white coats and I was told to just wait out....
Luckily I got a phone call by 5pm to say the man from Delmonte he say "No to Gestational Diabetes". I scoffed a banana and chocolate spread sandwich and "hurrahed" my good news!
Thursday, January 05, 2006 at 8:27 pm
The one downside to living in a caravan on a holiday park is that you can't live there all year round. For legal reasons - too boring to go into - you have to be off site for a set amount of time per year. Our site chucks all "residents" off at the beginning of the year and we are not allowed back till the 1st March.
My Mommie and Pops have therefore offered K and I space under their roof. Today K and I packed up a few meagre belongings and ensconced ourselves in the spare room - single beds, which K says is great cause now he will get a good nights sleep as I wont be constantly kicking him whilst tossing and turning, but more storage space than I know how to fill.
I love my parents to bits and know that without them I wouldn’t be half the woman I am now - read that how you will! My dad is very much like me, sharing the same birthday means we share many of the same crabby personality traits - "It’s my shell and you will do things my way when living in it - and by the way I need space".
My mum just wants everyone to be happy so bends over backwards to make sure things are good for everyone, which K loves cause whenever he visists he doesnt have to lift a finger, Mum generally tends to exists in her own world, I fondly refer to it as "Sandy's world".
And then there's me, hormonal, not in charge of the situation and worrying about the cats being on their own in the trailer.
What fun! So as well as attempting to be totally honest about things, blogging endlessly about baby stuff you need to prepare yourself to read about the the traumas and frustrations of living at home!!!
I just wish Sensitive me would stop mantra chanting "Smile and be nice, think bunnies and butterflies".
Wednesday, January 04, 2006 at 11:43 am
To sum up, briefly, in 12 sentances.
Got this idea off
Milky, you have to take the first sentance for your first blog of each month - in a mad, kinda bizarre hmmm type way it kinda makes sense!!!
I know this is going to sound a little trite when you consider the deaths that have happened over the last couple of weeks, but Keefe received a phone call at 9.30pm on Saturday night to say his mum had died at 8.30pm. Okay, up till 4.30 this morning I was feeling relatively calm about my impending move into my mothers and then into the trailer - it didn't seem like any big thing. I dont know about anyone else but I generally tend to eat fairly healthily most of the time. Aunty Hooch and Lady Letty, Mummy apologies for not blogging, but she’s acting like she has her head stuck up her bottom for the last week or so - me I just like to lick mine. Between
Hx and myself we can happily say... been there! Thanks to
Milky for finding this one *heavy breath* The force is strong in this one *Heavy breath*. And when it said…I cried "ahhh bollox". Today,
Minden Day, is a battle honour day, the King's Own Yorkshire Light Infantry, which in proceeding years became part of the Fusiliers, squashed lots of Frenchies and gave good fight. I've been thinking about this site an wondering if its wrong for me to begin pondering about pregnancy but it also occurred to me that maybe I'm a bit late for the pondering stage! Okay, I'm fine, really fine, really! Its a simple question and one I pondered lots on Tuesday night. Okay, those who know me, know I’ve been shafted, whoops that should be blessed, with a rather ample bosom.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Firstly Happy New Year to one and all. K and I welcomed in the New Year with a DVD and a bottle of champagne – it was quiet but lovely.
To be honest I was a bit hesitant of making a big deal about the whole New Year thang cause of K’s mum dying this time last year, so as usual I just got introspective and didn’t bother to talk to him about it, and was left feeling unsure if he wanted reflection and quiet or if he wanted hustle and bustle. He didn’t make many phone calls and texted nearest and dearest early in the evening so I went with quiet and reflective….
That said I need to let you know that I’ve made a huge decision, I’ve chosen this day, this new year to make my blog one of total honesty, even when the one who isn’t quite being perfect is me.... so that said I'm going to blog about yesterdays little insensitivity
You see K is off work all this week, so its me getting up first and heading off into the cold dark mornings whilst he cocoons himself in my duvet. Not that I felt in the least bit resentful, we perfect creatures never allow the bile that rises in our throats to ruin our day!
So the first part of the morning passed with the usual humdrumness of work, at lunch time whilst out buying my healthy wholemeal sandwich and grapes I remembered that K had said on Saturday “I’ll cook Chilli on Tuesday”. Whilst stood in the veg shop Snidey me popped up with "Yaha how likely is that - I bet he doesn’t".
Feeling all martyrdomish I purchased supplies for the chilli I knew he wouldn’t have got. Then I spent the afternoon going over all the conversations with Snidey me I was going to have when I walked into the caravan to find no dinner made.
By the time I was in the car K and I were having a full-blown argument and World War 236 (I think that’s the WW we have reached so far) was about to erupt.
So bags bulging with righteous supplies I flounced into the trailer, argument ready and verbal beatings lined up. Imagined my chagrin when the gorgeous aroma of K’s chilli bubbling away greeted me. Snidey me skipped gleefully into the dark recesses of my pea like brain chanting "whose gonna eat humble pie, whose gonna eat humble pie".
I kissed K and openly admitted what I had been thinking and you know what humble pie don’t taste that bad.
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