I got in Friday night and cracked open the ubiquitous bottle of wine. I sipped the first glass "moosing" over the week and pondering my desire to have my mawanker leave my personal space for a while or at least until I feel Im able to deal with his constant criticisms in a more rational way than calling him a mawanker behind his back.
I tidied up the trailer - cause that's what I do when Im feeling low. 45 mins later all dusted, sparkling and windows cleaned, the Hoover panting and full I refilled up my glass and stared at the sea.
A sunset passed before my eyes and 2 hours later his lordship entered our domain surveying the space he forgot to notice how tidy it was - typical man! I of course took umbridge at his inability to notice I had worked hard to maintain our standard of living and we grunt talked to each other, filling in the blanks with "hmms" and "uhhus".
We drunk the evening away occasionally commenting on the dull and un-captivating programs the TV folks have deemed to fill our Friday nights with. I totally think the programming is worth the licence fee we pay - Ohh forgot, don’t pay, cause I live in a trailer!!!
A new game for the cats and me
Because we still have not been able to track down the man "who does" we still have not got a cat flap. The girls therefore have taken to climbing out the window, waiting ten minutes then scratching furiously at the back door to be let in, this game is only played by me and the cats, cause K with his finely tuned male hearing is unable to hear the frantic scratchings, mewlings and bells jingling - I believe it has something to do with him being an hunter rather than a gatherer... HUH!!!
The down side to this creative fun game is they have also decided we should play it at 1.30am, 2.30am, 3.30am and 4.30am as I am the only one who knows the rules I am the one who leaves my warm bed on the hour almost every hour to let them in and out. Why do I do this - Because Im scared if I dont they will get eaten by foxes, beaten up by rabbits or chased unjustly by wild dogs - now tell me please "WHO IS THE FOOL?".
Morning session at Work
Saturday morning I had to work so cycled in, it was my first cycle where I haven’t had to wear my gloves and hat - could this be summer lifting up her skirts to flash her ankles at us?
I had two lovely ladies in: one of whom is practicing typing - and is now up to 7 words a minute (read it and weep - 7 words a minute) and the other who has a state of the art Dell lap top (I WANT IT) but is unable work on it because she doesn’t know where the files keep saving themselves.
We had a long discussion and I tried to explain the intricacies of default folders and a little folder called "my documents". We talked about the saving process and how we laughed when she said she didn’t realise she had to actually click on the save icon or "File/save as"... she thought it just did it automatically. Problem of the Missing files solved.
Plumbing problems
The rest of the day was spent sweet talking Willie and Dave - two guys who fix the plumbing at the trailer park -and supplying them with copious amounts of Coffee. Our pipes have been leaking all over the ground to the rear of the trailer and the marsh land was beginning to become a problem. I was contemplating putting up danger signs just in case stray children or animals attempted to cross and were never seen again - but figured neither children or animals would read the signs so it would just be wasted effort.
Willie and Dave scratched their heads an hummed and arrhhed in the usual "maintenance" way, they called in two other friends who also joined in the universal "hmmming" - a spade, some grunting and a few hours later the problem was fixed with some of those cool little tie things! Technology - who needs it?!?!
Amature Dramatics at its worst
I had promised a fellow thespian friend I would go and see him in his latest show "Masquerade". A whole 30 mins before I was due at the theatre I ran round the trailer flinging on clothes and putting on make-up. Couldn’t find my tinted moisturiser so ended up with the real stuff - icky, icky, icky!
For those who don’t know Masquerade its a Terry Pratchet book and he collaborated with some other folks to produce the play. The guy generally has me in tears of laughter when Im reading his books, but whether its because I’ve already formed my own impression of the characters in my own "minds eye" or the cast were just as wooden as Rincewinds luggage but the play itself was pretty diabolical.
Steven was one of the highlights with a fantastic camp theatre manager and a rather understated troll - I didnt hang round at the end and walked home, ignoring the cold and enjoying the moonlight on the sea, trying out phrases like "it was interesting - was it the director or the lead who decided they should stare out at the audience like a rabbit in headlights every time they forgot a line"... or .. "didn’t that corpse - sorry old guy, do well to remember to get on stage?"
Im still trying to put together an honest critique without too much sniggering, Hx, when you came to see my plays remind me of the "lovey lies" you pacified me with!
I entered our wee haven and discovered my very own Prince charming snoring on the sofa, with Bill Bailey finishing his latest tour on TV. I turned off the tv - sorry Bill - filled up my wine glass and showered. K managed to sleep through all the banging and removing of make-up.
Then I read till my eyes felt heavy - I played noddy dog with my book - you know the game, you keep trying to read but your head keeps swaying forward and you hit yourself in the face with the book and it wakes you up. Hours of fun!
At 2.30ish I contemplated getting up and covering Prince Snoring with a spare duvet, but the duvet on the bed wrapped itself round my body and I was unable to move. The cats had also got bored of their in/out game and had positioned themselves strategically on either side of my prone body, literally locking me onto the matress.
I’m pretty certain K came to bed about 4ish cause I have a vague recollection of cold hands and snuffling at my neck but by this time I was deep in the world of slumber, snoring softly and mumbling "yes, it was an interesting portrayal - I liked the ending".
Lost confused and looking for Inspiration - Stage 2
Monday, March 21, 2005 at 10:15 am
Where went the weekend?
Thursday, March 17, 2005 at 9:43 am
Calm, cool and collected.
I woke this morning calm - my ranting from yesterday over. I cycled to work and sent the email to my Mawanker I was sensible enough not to send yesterday outlying my current position and expectations.
This morning I removed all the swear words and cynicism - I do recognise that sometimes things in emails dont come over how they were intended but felt that "your an uptight git who couldnt manage to pull a muscle" didnt disguise my true feelings and left little to the imagination - on further reflection I felt this tone deterred from the professionalism I was wanting to impress.
So where did the calm came from?
As I cycled homeward last night muttering under my breath about inadequate management with the interpersonal skills of an amoeba (sorry to any amoeba lovers out there) mid mutter it dawned on me that the sun was shining, the sky was blue and as I crested the hill and past Delaval Hall, looking beautiful surrounded by green trees, windows shining in the sunlight and grass that new mowed green I was greeted by the sea, a beautiful blue, bumpy but calming. A smile spread across my mouth and I stopped to breath in the sea air and reflect on just how lucky I am.
The rest of the cycle home was suddenly ethereal and joyful. I past people who were wearing those "its spring" smiles, people nodded and said "hello" and cars seemed happier to give way to me and my burgeoning bottom as we peddled around roundabouts. I got home and decided to share with you the views I see from my wee caravan:
and also a pic of me enjoying a glass of wine before I jumped into the shower to wash the days strains away.
Washed, wine glass refilled and dinner cooking I sat and pondered my view out of the window.
This morning I removed all the swear words and cynicism - I do recognise that sometimes things in emails dont come over how they were intended but felt that "your an uptight git who couldnt manage to pull a muscle" didnt disguise my true feelings and left little to the imagination - on further reflection I felt this tone deterred from the professionalism I was wanting to impress.
So where did the calm came from?
As I cycled homeward last night muttering under my breath about inadequate management with the interpersonal skills of an amoeba (sorry to any amoeba lovers out there) mid mutter it dawned on me that the sun was shining, the sky was blue and as I crested the hill and past Delaval Hall, looking beautiful surrounded by green trees, windows shining in the sunlight and grass that new mowed green I was greeted by the sea, a beautiful blue, bumpy but calming. A smile spread across my mouth and I stopped to breath in the sea air and reflect on just how lucky I am.
The rest of the cycle home was suddenly ethereal and joyful. I past people who were wearing those "its spring" smiles, people nodded and said "hello" and cars seemed happier to give way to me and my burgeoning bottom as we peddled around roundabouts. I got home and decided to share with you the views I see from my wee caravan:
and also a pic of me enjoying a glass of wine before I jumped into the shower to wash the days strains away.
Whilst its not a full sea view I can glimps the mood of my beloved water and it sways my moods.
I may work for a git - but I have so much more going for me!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 at 3:26 pm
They have their heads up thier a**es and all they hear is their own echo...
I have exactly 36 minutes left before I leave this building for the evening and I want to produce a carefully worded rant to demonstrate the complete repulsion I feel today for my Manager.
I work hard, I play hard, I like to think I have produced some worthwhile work, I also acknowledge Ive produced some sh*t and got myself into some fairly stupid work related situations. But this morning I asked my Manager, from here on in please substitute the word W**ker, to look over a mail out I was going to send out to all my IT users re forth coming courses. For the last three years I have been doing these "personal mails" and my courses to date have an 88% attendance rate - which I think speaks for itself.
Anyway long story short (I know it never is, but bear with me) he said no it wasn't cost effective!!! WHHHHAAAATTT!!! was my initial reaction. My mail out costs a paltry £40.00 and the courses bring a revenue of approximately £1500.00 each quarter.
Apparently I haven't been effective in my marketing, apparently Im putting on courses that are not attended and apparently I shouldn't be "attempting" - ATTEMPTING - to build on the relationship I have with my current and repeat learners.
Since January not only have I produced and successfully ran courses for this centre but I have devised, advertised and programmed a range of courses for another community centre. I have spent the last three weeks attending meetings trying to co-ordinate learning providers to ensure effective and progressional learning for learners within both locations and - yes AND - I have been running the admin office because my Manager hired a complete and utter lying, inefficient, fraudulent blonde dumb-shell, who has now left, as an Assistant Manager and we were left without any admin support.
I am seething!!!!
I have decided from now I do what every one else within this wonderful environment does and thats bugger all. I will work my core hours, take my wages and go home.
So how is work for you?
Know of any Learning Facilitating jobs going?
Hmmm not bad for 20 mins....
I work hard, I play hard, I like to think I have produced some worthwhile work, I also acknowledge Ive produced some sh*t and got myself into some fairly stupid work related situations. But this morning I asked my Manager, from here on in please substitute the word W**ker, to look over a mail out I was going to send out to all my IT users re forth coming courses. For the last three years I have been doing these "personal mails" and my courses to date have an 88% attendance rate - which I think speaks for itself.
Anyway long story short (I know it never is, but bear with me) he said no it wasn't cost effective!!! WHHHHAAAATTT!!! was my initial reaction. My mail out costs a paltry £40.00 and the courses bring a revenue of approximately £1500.00 each quarter.
Apparently I haven't been effective in my marketing, apparently Im putting on courses that are not attended and apparently I shouldn't be "attempting" - ATTEMPTING - to build on the relationship I have with my current and repeat learners.
Since January not only have I produced and successfully ran courses for this centre but I have devised, advertised and programmed a range of courses for another community centre. I have spent the last three weeks attending meetings trying to co-ordinate learning providers to ensure effective and progressional learning for learners within both locations and - yes AND - I have been running the admin office because my Manager hired a complete and utter lying, inefficient, fraudulent blonde dumb-shell, who has now left, as an Assistant Manager and we were left without any admin support.
I am seething!!!!
I have decided from now I do what every one else within this wonderful environment does and thats bugger all. I will work my core hours, take my wages and go home.
So how is work for you?
Know of any Learning Facilitating jobs going?
Hmmm not bad for 20 mins....
Saturday, March 12, 2005 at 2:53 pm
I thought this was appropriate
Friday, March 11, 2005 at 3:52 pm
Whaaaaaaa - I've lost my mobile phone.
Went off to a meeting
had to catch a bus
phone fell out of pocket!
Kids now have it - I know this cause I dialled the number and the little barstuards answered it, laughed at me and hung up!!!!
Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
had to catch a bus
phone fell out of pocket!
Kids now have it - I know this cause I dialled the number and the little barstuards answered it, laughed at me and hung up!!!!
Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
at 7:23 am
How much of a drama queen are you?
Thanks to Stan for the link to this site. Thought it was a good way to drink my morning coffee and contemplate why I had to drink yet another bottle of wine last night....
My Results:
According to your answers on the test, you are given to the occasional dramatic outburst. You seem to have days when you are calm and rational, yet others when you ride a temporary roller coaster of emotion. Yes, sometimes you overreact. Perhaps you are more sensitive in certain areas, like your love life or health. Or maybe you go a tad over-the-top during certain times of high stress (or fluctuating hormones... and this happens to both men and women!). Whatever the case, it would certainly be beneficial to keep the theatrics to a minimum. Going over-the-top can spice up your life but it also can cause unnecessary stress. When you're on the verge of freaking out, take a deep breath and consider how things fit into the big picture. Is it really worth it?
As Stan says - "its on the Internet, it must be true"
My Results:
According to your answers on the test, you are given to the occasional dramatic outburst. You seem to have days when you are calm and rational, yet others when you ride a temporary roller coaster of emotion. Yes, sometimes you overreact. Perhaps you are more sensitive in certain areas, like your love life or health. Or maybe you go a tad over-the-top during certain times of high stress (or fluctuating hormones... and this happens to both men and women!). Whatever the case, it would certainly be beneficial to keep the theatrics to a minimum. Going over-the-top can spice up your life but it also can cause unnecessary stress. When you're on the verge of freaking out, take a deep breath and consider how things fit into the big picture. Is it really worth it?
As Stan says - "its on the Internet, it must be true"
Wednesday, March 09, 2005 at 1:29 pm
YE HAW - W're ficially Trailer Trash
Well we have actually managed to do it, we've been living in the trailer for a whole 8 days and if I say so myself "I WAS RIGHT". Its soooo great, we are packed in tight and there is stuff all over, but all in all its very cosey and warm. (Pics for Hx)
Ive not felt this content for such a long time. Not only does my house cleaning take all of 30 minutes (which lets face it is bally brilliant) but K and I are getting on really well, we have started being the tactile couple we once were, we sit of an evening with a glass of wine and talk about our days, we've even sat and listened to music - together!!!
Yes there are still issues for us to get over, we are very much living in a "there's a place for everything and everything has its place" environment and K was never very good at the putting things away but even he is aware of the limited space and he is making a concerted effort to put things away if they are not being used.
Ive not felt this content for such a long time. Not only does my house cleaning take all of 30 minutes (which lets face it is bally brilliant) but K and I are getting on really well, we have started being the tactile couple we once were, we sit of an evening with a glass of wine and talk about our days, we've even sat and listened to music - together!!!
Yes there are still issues for us to get over, we are very much living in a "there's a place for everything and everything has its place" environment and K was never very good at the putting things away but even he is aware of the limited space and he is making a concerted effort to put things away if they are not being used.
We had some fairly serious snow last week and even with three inches of the white stuff on the ground we were not affected by the cold. I loved sitting watching the flakes swirl around the trailer snuggled on the sofa -content and warm.
The cats have both found thier "paws" - we are just waiting for the man "who does" on the trailer site to come and do his stuff and leave us with a cat flap. Currently they are going out through the window, Tina is meowing to be let back in, Rosie doesnt meow so I have to constantly get up and walk the huge distance from sofa to door to see if she is at the steps and wants to come in - Gosh that walk tires me out so much!
But the thing that assures me I have definitely entered into the trailer trash environ is the latest number I have added to my mobile.
"DIAL A DRINK".
Its a local company that delivers spirits, wines, beers, ciggies and various other sundries between 11pm and 6am. You phone them up, place your order and they deliver right to your trailer door.
YE HAW - Ive finally made it....
at 1:13 pm
Thought this site was amazing.
I couldnt believe the results.
Thursday, March 03, 2005 at 2:35 pm
What I want in a man
What I Want in a Man, Original List (Age 21)
1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer thing 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK) 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
Tuesday, March 01, 2005 at 1:03 pm
Whats for lunch
I dont know about anyone else but I generally tend to eat fairly healthily most of the time. When I do feel the need to binge I find myself purchasing alcohol rather than food, Im not a chocolate or cookie person and only eat icecream in times of deep female friendship bonding or when watching weepy movies.
So today when I was attempting to eat my lunch whilst marking a learners assessment I was bombarded by another centre user expressing thier opinion on my lunch, basically telling me how unhealthy it was and it was no wonder I was "as big" as I was.
Now this actually surprised me cause I have in no way ever asked this persons opinion and why they suddenly felt they had a right to talk to me in this way I have no idea - perhaps it is the weather!!!
So I thought as Hx showed us what she has on her bedside table I would show you what I was eating. I have to say this was a one off... but I personally dont think it was that awful!
So today when I was attempting to eat my lunch whilst marking a learners assessment I was bombarded by another centre user expressing thier opinion on my lunch, basically telling me how unhealthy it was and it was no wonder I was "as big" as I was.
My lunch!!!
Now this actually surprised me cause I have in no way ever asked this persons opinion and why they suddenly felt they had a right to talk to me in this way I have no idea - perhaps it is the weather!!!
So I thought as Hx showed us what she has on her bedside table I would show you what I was eating. I have to say this was a one off... but I personally dont think it was that awful!