What monkey?
The one who is drinking all my wine?
Alcohol and me
In my quest to find a sensible solution to my current relationship woes it has been brought to my attention that these last few months/years have been spent in an alcohol pickled existence. I’ve been drinking myself from one drunken evening to the next - knocking back a bottle of wine a night to get me through what I saw as the agony of my relationship.
A couple of grown up conversations have helped me see that the alcohol route Im travelling down isn’t making life any easier - in fact its probably stopping me dealing with a few home truths.
So as of last weekend I made myself limit my intake. Whilst it felt a bit strange last Friday night (Friday and Saturday are generally 2 bottles a night oblivion) I drank only 3 glasses of wine. Saturday was pretty much the same - a glass of wine with dinner and a couple when Dr Who was on. It didnt feel too bad and I actually enjoyed waking up without the hangover effect. The rest of the week I had a couple of glasses here and there but never more than three.
On the whole I’ve drank just three bottles of wine in the last week - yes I know it’s still probably too much but hey - 3 compared to 8 or 9 is a fairly big improvement.
This form of self imposed denial has meant that I feel I can honestly say that the feelings I have been going through - those of sadness, feeling that we dont communicate etc were not alcohol induced. I do feel lonely and unhappy and K and I do have some serious issues we need to resolve - but even from this clearer perspective I’m still not sure how to do it or what to do.
That said I had a friend - Anne Marie round for dinner yesterday and managed to consume a giggle worthy 3 bottles of wine between 2.30pm and 11.30pm. Which isn’t really all that bad -but its still my quota for the week - the thing that makes it really sad is K drank maybe four cans and Anne Marie had one glass of wine.
Presents
K brought me an mp3 player for easter only it didnt have radio on it so I asked if it was okay if we exchanged it for one that did.
I brought K a midi-hifi (Record player, double cassette, 3 dec cd player and radio) to replace his old one that has seen better days. I ordered it on the internet and it didnt arrive till Wednesday - bally internet.
On Sunday he sheepishly asked if it was okay to take it back and exchange it cause the sound is a bit tinny. It was strange that he proceeded the request with "you wont be mad if I ..." It made me wonder if Ive been a b*tch to live with?
We exchanged it for a CD player - HUH?!?!
Precious Legs
In yet another of my ongoing quests I brought a new potential implement of torture "Precious legs" its got a little whiry pad and it buffs your hairs away. So on Saturday night I followed the destructions and proceeded to buff away my leg hair. I dont like pain and I bruise real easily - I once had my legs waxed and looked like I had been in a serious accident for about two weeks after - I can happily say this has got two things going for it - it didnt hurt - a slight redness for a couple of hours and it does seem to do the trick - I will let you know about re-growth issues!
Lost confused and looking for Inspiration - Stage 2
Monday, April 18, 2005 at 3:31 pm
Get this monkey off my back!
