In a way I'm glad because living at home right now is a godsend. Having Dad and mum around has been really special. Mum has proved to be a complete star and is really helping me deal with these first few days. Just as I'm thinking "God I'm hungry" a sandwich appears and mum takes Dylan from me and says "eat".
Just when I feel my eyes closing as I'm rocking him to sleep, desperate for sleep, her arms embrace me and she takes him from me. "Get your head down for an hour, I'll entertain him for a while".
As much as we have our differences I really don't think I could have gotten through this week without her!!!!
Dad, comes home each night and offers words of wisdom, encouragement and Grandie time. As soon as he has Dylan in his arms they both nod off, two old men in the wisdom of sleep. Then each morning he asks in whispers how things have been through the night, encouraging me with a daddy kiss and a "your doing great" wink.
Moving out of this loving embrace scares me. K and I are still not really 100%. It doesn't seem to matter how we start talking to each other, we generally end up being cold and aloof. The really sad thing is that we both have so much love to give and this is obvious when we are talking to Dylan, our voices soften and we become loving and caring in touch. I can't seem to get on top of my own emotions when dealing with K, if only I could, if only he could!
