Following on from a conversation this weekend with J my question is - "Is phone sex an act of infidelity or not". Ive several girl friends (married, divorced and single) that have admitted to enjoying fairly active relationships over the telephone and in a past life I used to make a living out of it.
The cambridge dictionary says :
Infidelity - (an act of) having sex with someone who is not your husband, wife or regular sexual partner, or (an example of) not being loyal or faithful:
Pretty straight forward then - Phone sex is a form of infidelity!
But when you get down to it isnt phone sex similar to fantasysing about someone else when making love to your "husband, wife or regular sexual partner".
Im ready to admit that the gorgeous Mr
Rickman has flickered into my mind at times and Im pretty certain that K doesnt only dream of helping Jennifer Aniston put up shelves!
In this age of media imagery and soft porn- is it acceptable to open our selfs and our relationships up to this form of flirtation. Is talking about having sex the same as actually having sex?Is it only the single that should partake in this form of stimulation? Is it wrong for married people to play/fantasise in this way. In the debate I took the "right on, do it, Im a woman living in the 21st century and there is nothing wrong with it" route. But then as I lay wide awake at 2.30am this morning I began to think about it in depth, I asked myself how I would feel if I found out that K had had phone sex with someone and the outcome would be neither pretty, nor right on.
But Im in no position to throw stones - Ive been there, seen it and got the T-shirt. That said Ive always known and faced the consequences to my actions. How then can I defend mine, and my girlfriends/boyfriends, rights to indulge in whatever form of sexual exploration we choose but also acknowledge how hugely upset I would be if K did anything of the sort - surely sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose?
So what do you think is phone sex wrong or is it the new form of infidelity - without the infidelity?
